It is written that “Strength does not come from physical capacity. It comes from indomitable will.” Through pure will power Mahatmas Gandhi managed to free India of Britain’s authoritarian rule by leading nonviolent protests. Likewise, will power has transformed me as a person. Ever since I was a child, my parents have constantly reminded with their encouraging words that I could accomplish anything if I had the focus and determination to do so. However, this “indomitable will” lay dormant inside me for quite some time. I was never one who took so many risks for fear of failure. Though this fear is still present in me, I have learned to conquer failure and to take risks with confidence in my own abilities. After all, failure is only human.
I used to dwell on failure and would think of all the other avenues I could choose instead of the “right” one. A perfect example of this was in my IB Chemistry class. I was eager to learn the material because chemistry had always fascinated me. We were studying human biochemistry and since I want to pursue a career as a cardiologist, I paid close attention to several of the bodily functions and effects of lipids including various types of cholesterol which could end up clogging an artery. My teacher, Dr. Srivastava, noticed that I always had this worried look on my face. “Carlos,” he says, “What do you have to be worried about all of the time?” I told him that I was worried that I will fail at applying this knowledge in my life which in turn would affect me as I study in med school. “Oh come on. You should not be so worried about these things. When you get an answer incorrect or your lab experiment is not successful, you can always go back and try again, this time by taking risks in your experiments. No one expects perfection of you.” After listening to his words the image of Gandhi came into mind. I envisioned him in front of a large crowd of people and encouraging them to stand up for their rights by protesting against the British. Even though most of the time they were unsuccessful, his persistence finally paid off. And I realized that was all I could do; just be persistent and try again.
In my IB Math class, I always strove for perfection. Recently, I was finding the derivatives of various equations. Naturally I sought the need to solve the problem correctly. However, when I cam across equations wit fractions, I froze and found my self in a position where I could no longer move further. I felt defeat. I could not continue with the problem. It seemed so complicated because there where many approaches which could have been taken. I slowly became flustered and could not get a grip on it. I began to overanalyze the task at hand which I believe lead to my immobile state. I simply needed to see what the root of the problem was. In this case it was a gap in knowledge of how to deal with fractions. I know that I have a drive for success but sometimes I can over think and get so overwhelmed that “I let the fear take the wheel and steer.” I know that I should be the one behind the wheel but sometimes it gets so overwhelming. Mr. Halos, my calculus teacher comes up to me and says, “Carlos, do not be so worried. If you get it wrong you get it wrong. What you should really do is try to learn from your mistakes and move on.” As my teachers reiterate to me over and over again, I need to stop thinking about failing or messing up and instead think focus solely on the desired goal – understanding the material so that I may apply it in life situations. Taking to heart those wise words of wisdom from an experienced teacher, I have learned to apply my own techniques to comfort my fear. Just as Gandhi remained calm when he was arrested, he was soon released because he had influenced the people of India to stand up for their inalienable rights. I remind my self to stay calm because even though I may not be in a prison looking at the changes going on in India, one way or another I will get though my studies as long as I have the persistence to do so. As I calm down my brain retrieves all of the information regarding derivatives that it has retained. In some small way, that “can do” attitude is in fact my “indomitable will.”
As I slowly fight my way through the senior grind my friends constantly notice that I take my work to an extreme. I hear an array of comments such as, “why are you such a workaholic?” or “you look stressed. Try taking a break sometimes.” I think that it is time to take their advice. After all, I think I am supposed to be enjoying my final year of high school with all of the challenges that come with it, including the college application process. Instead of overanalyzing simple tasks and overwhelming my mind I think I should just “let it go” continue to do my best. All in all my best is all that I can offer to any college. Perfection is just a concept and not a reality; therefore, my capabilities, my desires and my commitment are my reality. I may not be the liberator of a country, but I can be the liberator of my mind and sprit.
